just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
