Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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