Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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