Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He better not be in your backpack
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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