I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
