And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
