Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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