The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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