scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
