I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
