i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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