i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
