i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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