He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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