Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
