I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
