As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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