I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need water and some morals
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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