even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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