i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
