dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize