i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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