She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
