I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
