Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
