So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
