I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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