what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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