Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize