im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
