I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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