party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize