We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
