just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This is my gift to your gina
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
