are you still at the devil's house?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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