Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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