Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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