I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
