why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I party with great urgency now.
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