It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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