Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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