Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
