I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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