i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The ass gains better be worth it
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