Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
