It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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