4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
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Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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