If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
