we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize