she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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