Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize