No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
