she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
