david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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