Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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