I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
