Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
