I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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