For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
