I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
