I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Operation Purity has been aborted
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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