As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
