Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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