when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ttyl tear gas
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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